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The Fiercesome Writer

Sell the Fudgy Topping

One dessert. Two pitches. A - “Our Brownie and Ice Cream dessert has three cups of flour, two eggs, a stick of butter. Then we baked it for 45 minutes. Scoop of vanilla on top, whipped cream and syrup. Feeds two. $9.95” Or… B – “Warm, perfectly gooey brownie with dark chocolate chunks, vanilla bean ice cream, homemade whipped cream and hot fudge sauce. Big enough for two but who says you have to share $9.95” So which would you want? Uh-yeah, B. Out of the two pitches above, obviously B works. I want that dessert. Like now. Interestingly, A has more words than B, so length is not the answer. Carefully chosen words, highlighting the essence of the dessert sold me. And probably you, too. A logl

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